its a pretty big no-no to offer such language around the modern way of doing transactional relationship…but lets be real about the kind of agreements we are making. if you’re down with prostitution and it works for you in all of the ways, cool.
this article is for those who may not realize that particular presumptions made from familial, cultural or social norms are what needs to be addressed and clarified in order to heal PTSD, anxiety and bunch of other forms of distress found in the complaining bodymind when it is oppressed.
the first place to start, is in your body.
what does it feel like to be dishonored, bought, sold, minimized, de-valued?
its just a question…or maybe its a planet, a land of slippery consciousness that is dark and unlanguaged on purpose.
perhaps prostitution has a stigma for a reason.
the lense through which these prompts voyage is that of an observer, therapist, feeler, femme, spiritual aspirant, change-maker, mother, teacher, advocate and lover. she lives in a body she learned was wrong, and so it deserved to be wronged. and that just looked like how it went in so many places and ways.
the pain was quelled and suffering silenced…for a while, and now its OUT! all of it.
this is what is known from this vantage point and many moments of decades of fighting off suicidal inclinations, PTSD, chronic depression, eating disorders and social anxiety:
#1. when you make ANY type of agreement with ANYONE…your mom, father, brother, uncle, friend, partner, new boss…GO OVER IT. and go over it again and again, until it rinses clean, know what i mean? if there is any form of hesitation, doubt, fear in your body about what you are signing on for, THATS VALID…that feeling. you may need to leave the room, rinse your face, say, ‘let me think about it’, journal it out, discuss it with present counsel, but honor your feelings. thats your TRUTH speaking.
in the best of all worlds, everyone’s truth is valid. and guess what, THIS IS the-best-of-all-possible-worlds…if you want it to be. its really up to you.
#2. when you DO sign on to fulfill your contract/agreement for marriage, that job, that relationship, it gets to be nourishing and rooted in non-violence. that means; we ask for something with respect, we deliver requests and agreements with options, there is space for discomfort to be accepted (we’re NOT all the same) and we listen, undistracted and deeply interested in problem-solving.
#3. in a culture that has a thriving 1%, there had to be some things that didnt happen for the other 99%. if you’re good with your place in this world, stop reading. if you aspire to be part of that 1%, stop reading.
#4. if the pace of stressful modern life is crushing, and you are interested in AWAKENING to be proactive in creating a different scenario of liberation for your self and others..here are a few ways to start.
*if its not in your contract to get coffee, make sure you understand what ‘getting coffee’ signifies. do you feel demoralized, sexualized, less than? that feeling is real, and you need to address it.
*if you are hired to do a job, like wait on tables, and spend a good deal of your emotional energy being dumped on by the manager or boss, that’s NOT your job.
*if you walk around the work environment feeling like you don’t fit in, examine why. feel into the present culture. is it the clothes people wear, what they eat, where they hang? if these aspects are your aspiration and feel good, make some effort to shift your style. how’s that feel?
as some very smart and loving grandma once said…’know your Truth, and that Truth will set you free’. it may take awhile, but time is what we got.