seriously

how could any white woman have merit

with comfort as  religioun

denial as bible

from german decent

immigrants running from blood filled concentration camps

punishing repression of creative expression

our suffocations as weekly practices of this terrified father

scottish too, with starvation nipping at the heels of grandpa

married to the grande silencing of a puritanical operatic protegy, his spouse, lest anyone recognize an immigrant as unsilenced

spies and secrets his coffin

bleeding horrors that settle deeply within the womb of us

 

our children born to be guided and watched

our reflections staring at us wildly running ...

away.

 

i am not safe  being white

i am not free in my comfort

i am not saved by my denial

my daughters know more than me

they came screaming forth naturally

bravely borne to every discomfort promised

 deeply held within my adoring gaze

knowingly  blended into a racial fabric

 bonded woman blood

pouring rivers of unceasing humanity forth

 

 children  guide and watch

 reflections stare back  wildly running ...

away.

 

we suffer mutually in order to preserve

small strands of shared sanctity 

scavedged among the found

in some lost mystery of color created by the light that defines us

here in the darklness

lay

what is familiar yet feared

white upon white 

as light

 

one child

one guide

one stare

 

 

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